I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
