my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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