So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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