Screwed.edu
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
