So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize