we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Dear god my vagina.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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