If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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