he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
