How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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