I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize