I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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