my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
