Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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