I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Enjoy the penises
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
