my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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