I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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