I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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