Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
