it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
