Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
