I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
