belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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