Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
