Apparently you make a good broom.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
