I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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