After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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