so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
