Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
