It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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