I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
