i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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