when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
