David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Randomize