He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
