Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
