don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
