if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
