In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize