I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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