Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
is it fun? or sober?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
