how can u be prego again
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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