oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
