I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
