Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
