And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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