Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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