I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
