she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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