You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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