Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
