and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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