I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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