Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
