I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize
