it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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