woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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