I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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