...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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