The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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