idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
