I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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