All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
