I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.