I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.