just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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