everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He passed out mid-signature
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
