this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize