On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
