i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
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It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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